Two in a row!

So far, so good...day 2 for "blogging" consecutively!

I think the Lord is really trying to teach me patience lately and to let Him have control of things. Not that I haven't had these lessons before, but I usually learn things the hard way! My air conditioner has been acting up lately and yesterday it finally stoppped working. Still working on getting it fixed and hoping it's not going to cost too much to get fixed. Then today I went to go work in my classroom and my computer got messed up and I couldn't turn it back on. Even though that happened I was able to finish getting my "welcome letters" done before that happened...thank the Lord! So I put most of the furniture (what I could lift by myself) back into place. Then there are some other things that have been a test of my trust and patience lately in addition to the AC being broken and my computer at school going crazy!

I'm not always so good at being patient. I know how to wait, but I don't know how to wait patiently. I do know, unfortunately, how to wait anxiously. And apparently I do like to be in control of things (I'd like to blame that on being a woman) and so when things don't go "my way" and how I want them to, it tries my patience. Plus, I wouldn't describe me as a naturally "laid back" person. I think the word "uptight" comes to mind! I wish I wasn't, but I can't beat myself up for being who I am. Now, I'm not trying to make excuses for my words or behaviors and blame it on "I can't change; It's just the way I am." No, I don't agree, but I think sometimes I take it too far and am trying to change part of how God made me. I was not created as a laid back person! I was created a little more "high strung" if you will. I can definitely take that overboard and then it does become a problem that I need to have better self-control of, but I'm never going to be naturally laid back. But what the Lord is teaching me is that I do need to "chill out" and learn to be a woman who "can laugh at the days to come." If a situation is out of my control, what good is it if I still get all worked up over it? All I am doing is stressing myself out and adding more stress to the situation than needs be, and it probably makes other people not want to be around me because I overwhelm and stress them out. And I really do not want that. I never mean to be like that, but yet I still seem to do it!

I think the Lord is allowing things that test my patience to try to teach me to trust Him by letting Him have the control and not worrying about it, instead of holding onto it and worrying about something that I'm not really in control of anyways. This is definitely a work in progress for me! Something I struggle with a lot. Maybe I need some medicine! I definitely need to learn to trust God and walk by faith in all situations that are out of my control and in the ones that seem to be "in my control" even though they aren't really. God is sovereign. He created all things and He is before all things and in HIM all things hold together. Not in me or other people or in "stuff" but in JESUS all things hold together. It's time I started walking by FAITH, not sight or sound or smell or touch or any of the senses. It's time I started to TRUST that HE can handle any and everything. Even when I can't handle anything and feel like I'm falling apart, it's okay! God is stronger and He's got it and He's got me. He's never going to let go!

"I'm Really Gonna Stick With It This Time"

I've tried to start a blog at least 5 times! I always start well but quit when I get "too busy" to keep up with it. I always come up with these "great ideas" but can't ever seem to stick with it long enough to see it come to completion. I've said this every other time I've started but...I'm really gonna stick with it this time! I do love to write and it helps me to feel better. I have a tendecy to be really long-winded and throw in all kinds of extra details that are probably unnecessary, but it makes me feel better. There is just something about writing that is therapeutic. Maybe it's because I have a million thoughts running rampant through my mind. Maybe it's because no one else will listen so if I "write it out" then I feel like someone is listening! Either way, I love to write and it helps me to feel better. Now if only I would just sit down and write more, even when I get "too busy." Lately, I've been writing a lot more probably because I have a little too much time on my hands right now. Soon summer will be over and back to teaching I'll be, but for the next few weeks I'm going to really try and write something everyday. Even if it's nothing "inspirational" or "life-changing" (as if everything else I write is...haha), I really want to do this because well, I want to! And maybe it will get out some of the million thoughts running through my mind. :) Anyways, I'm gonna try again to keep up with this thing, but just remember I am a work in progress! ;)

173 more to go!

Well, I made it through the first and second days of school for this year so far. The first day was pretty good. It didn't go quite as I planned. As always, you can plan, plan and over plan and things still won't go the way you planned! Everyone ate and got home the right way so based on that it was a success!!! Hahaha. I think I've fogotten how to teach! I'm having to learn to get back into the routine myself. The only part of Kindergarten I don't like is the first few weeks when you have to re"train" your kids all over. They are so little and some of them have never been anywhere before or came from somewhere else. I think once we're settled into a real routine and following our schedule completely things will settle down. I think Ms. Griffin and I have another sweet class. I've already had some laughs but forgot to write them down! I've gotta get back on that. If you can't laugh you won't make it.

I've forgotten how TIRING teaching is! My feet are KILLING me and I've been going to bed at 8:00pm! LOL! But that is to be expected especially since we had so much time off. Now I'm defintely not complaining about the 3 + months we had off, but for me that was probably too much (and I think for some of the kids too)! But I enjoyed it while it lasted and I will probably be saying the opposite come next summer we will have just a few weeks.

This year seems like it may be challenging but it always is every year in different ways. Hopefully I can stay on top of everything even better this year. I want this year to be the best yet and me to be the best teacher I can be this year. One thing about being a teacher is you definitely NEVER STOP LEARNING!!! Which is good because I LOVE learning cuz I am a nerd as most of you know! :)

Okay most of that probably doesn't make sense because I have 1/2 asleep as I am writing this. I'm hoping to try and stay awake for at least 30 more minutes and make 8:00! I mean I can't fall asleep before Jeopardy after all. ;)

Meet the Teacher

Well, the kids and parents came and "Met the Teacher" last night. It went GREAT!!! I had 16/20 parents/kids show up and that was great! I think the Lord has blessed me again this year with another group of great children and parents. I am just soooooo excited about this school year. I'm not sure if it's because our summer was so long and I was getting tired of not being in a routine or what. I think it was just not getting to do what I have been called to do and LOVE LOVE LOVE doing. Yes, it is overwhelming at times and can get stressful, but bottom line I just can't see myself doing anything else. I love teaching and I LOVE teaching Kindergarten.

We have the CUTEST kids! I was like oh no I am in trouble! You know those children that are so charming and can just flash a smile at you and it makes your heart melt and you forget that they just bit the kid next to them? Yeah, we have a CLASSROOM FULL this year! How I am ever going to stick with "pulling their symbol" when they break a rule will be a bit more of a challenge this year. Maybe I will just close my eyes. Or maybe I will have them pull their own symbol so I don't have to! hahaha. No, I will do like I normally do. They have to learn that something things are acceptable and some things are not. Hopefully we won't need to pull a lot of symbols this year. Behavior has a direct affect on their learning and I want ALL of them to be able to do their best without having anything to hinder them. In return, I will give them my best everyday.

I know this is all I keep talking about lately but I am just so excited for this school year. It might be a little more challenging with less breaks during the year, but it will still be okay! And Fall is coming which I LOVE LOVE LOVE too so that makes me more excited!!!! YAY!

YAY for the best school year yet! :)

Almost Ready

Today was my third day of pre-planning and we finally got the last box unpacked today! YAY!!! I'm SOOOOOO TIRED of unpacking boxes. I hope to never have to do it ever again...okay realistically I will probably have to but hopefully not for a LONG time!

Things are coming together and looking like our classroom again...yay!!! There's still things to do, but hopefully between tomorrow and Friday we can get it all done so I won't have to go up there over the long weekend!

I SWEAR my classroom is bigger than the one I was in before. I would be willing to put money on it! But I will take it because everything fits! I will finally be able to use my awesome pocket charts that I have for a center this year because there actually is a place to put the big "chart holder" and I am VERY excited about that!

I have a big change in my schedule this year and at first I wasn't sure how it was going to work, but I am very excited to try it out. We have to have 75 minutes of Math, and usually I would do 30 minutes of Calendar and the rest of the time would be broken up into Math small groups. Well, this year in order to do most of my Math in the morning I had to change things around. The new plan is 55 minutes of calendar. I know that sounds like A LOT and it is, but this way I can also get in songs, whole group games, Math read alouds, etc. and I am really excited about it. Plus, I usually go over 30 minutes in my calendar anyways because we just have so much to do and the kids really get into it. Then after that in the afternoon we will do 20 minutes of small group, but instead of changing groups, I will only see one group a day, my para will see one group a day and the other 2 will go to centers. This way each group is getting 20 solid minutes of small group instruction and the ones at center can actually have partners to play games with! I'm really excited to try this change. I think it will work great and I bet my student's math scores will increase! We will see how it goes!

I think this year is going to be great! Whether it really is or not, I will hopefully stay as positive as I am now and make it great no matter what! :)

Back to School...Oh, Back to School!

Tomorrow is my first day of pre-planning for the 2009-2010 school year! Although it has been a long and crazy and mostly good summer, I am READY to get back to work. Check back with me in a few months and I may feel differently! haha. No, I love my job and am thankful to have the job I do. I love Kindergarten and it is going to be a GREAT year no matter what. I will make it great with whatever happens! There are going to be a lot of changes and things will be very different. I don't usually like change and usually my initial reaction is not a positive one, but after I take a few minutes to think about it and see what I can do with the change, I usually come around and realize that it's a good one. Or realize I can't do anything about it so I will have to work with it!


I have more children this year than I have ever had. That makes me a little nervous but I know that the Lord has given me each child that I am supposed to have for a specific reason and I am going to try my best to just trust Him with it. He knows better than I do anyways as to why He gave me the ones He did. It's easy to get so wrapped up in the "work stuff" and forget that my number one reason for being there is for the children. My first job is to love them and show them and their families the love of Christ everyday. Now, I wish I could say I do this all the time successfully, but then I'd be lying. I do get caught-up in the "work" stuff sometimes, but as I say every year, I'm going to do my best this year to remember the reason I am there.


I think a lot of the time I try to make things "perfect" because I want to give my students my best everyday and I want them to have the best they can get but I sometimes over do it with stressing about getting stuff done. Stress, who me?? HAHA! Maybe I will learn to chill out some this year. I'm like that in all areas of my life though. Maybe one day I will learn that I can't do everything perfect but just focus on giving my best which will never be perfect! All I can do is lean on the Lord to give me what I need to do the best and be the best teacher I can be to my students and their families. After all, He has called me and if He has called me, then He has equipped me with everything I need to fulfill His plans/purpose for me.

Here's to a great school year!!!!! :)

Beauty is on the inside...haha yeah right!

Why does it seem (maybe just to me) that a woman's worth is measure soley by her appearance? Who decided that? Who determined that you're only worth something as a woman as long as you do not have an ounce of fat on you and pretty face/features? Is that really all that matters anymore? Does it not matter if we are Godly women who love the Lord and try to follow and serve him? Does it matter anymore if someone is smart, funny, compassionate, giving, etc. etc. etc. Why is it always about appearance? The world has totally distorted our view on females I think. I am by NO MEANS a feminist but I am tired of being measured by my appearance or lack there of in some cases. I hate it! It's getting old. No wonder so many young girls and adult women have issues with self-esteem, eating disorders, etc. The world sends the message that all that matters is a women's appearance and sexuality. We'd like to limit it to just the world but unfortunately, even in the "Christian" world I've seen it as well. I just don't get it. Am I missing something?

Okay, I know appearance matters and I would agree that it does to a certain degree. But what message do we as Christians send when that's all we care about? Talk to myself here too. I'm obssessed with my appreance and not in a good way. I feel like the only worth I have is in how I look and that has come from a variety of influences. Yes some from the world's view but also from things I've seen/heard in Christian's views as well. I know that's not true and for me it is a CONSTANT battle, one that I unfortunately lose more than win. Okay maybe I'm a lot more insecure than other women are about their appearance. Maybe I am the only one who feels this way. I'm just tired of being judged by my appearance. Maybe if I weighed 100 lbs and looked like a supermodel I would feel differently! :) Who knows?!