Two in a row!

So far, so good...day 2 for "blogging" consecutively!

I think the Lord is really trying to teach me patience lately and to let Him have control of things. Not that I haven't had these lessons before, but I usually learn things the hard way! My air conditioner has been acting up lately and yesterday it finally stoppped working. Still working on getting it fixed and hoping it's not going to cost too much to get fixed. Then today I went to go work in my classroom and my computer got messed up and I couldn't turn it back on. Even though that happened I was able to finish getting my "welcome letters" done before that happened...thank the Lord! So I put most of the furniture (what I could lift by myself) back into place. Then there are some other things that have been a test of my trust and patience lately in addition to the AC being broken and my computer at school going crazy!

I'm not always so good at being patient. I know how to wait, but I don't know how to wait patiently. I do know, unfortunately, how to wait anxiously. And apparently I do like to be in control of things (I'd like to blame that on being a woman) and so when things don't go "my way" and how I want them to, it tries my patience. Plus, I wouldn't describe me as a naturally "laid back" person. I think the word "uptight" comes to mind! I wish I wasn't, but I can't beat myself up for being who I am. Now, I'm not trying to make excuses for my words or behaviors and blame it on "I can't change; It's just the way I am." No, I don't agree, but I think sometimes I take it too far and am trying to change part of how God made me. I was not created as a laid back person! I was created a little more "high strung" if you will. I can definitely take that overboard and then it does become a problem that I need to have better self-control of, but I'm never going to be naturally laid back. But what the Lord is teaching me is that I do need to "chill out" and learn to be a woman who "can laugh at the days to come." If a situation is out of my control, what good is it if I still get all worked up over it? All I am doing is stressing myself out and adding more stress to the situation than needs be, and it probably makes other people not want to be around me because I overwhelm and stress them out. And I really do not want that. I never mean to be like that, but yet I still seem to do it!

I think the Lord is allowing things that test my patience to try to teach me to trust Him by letting Him have the control and not worrying about it, instead of holding onto it and worrying about something that I'm not really in control of anyways. This is definitely a work in progress for me! Something I struggle with a lot. Maybe I need some medicine! I definitely need to learn to trust God and walk by faith in all situations that are out of my control and in the ones that seem to be "in my control" even though they aren't really. God is sovereign. He created all things and He is before all things and in HIM all things hold together. Not in me or other people or in "stuff" but in JESUS all things hold together. It's time I started walking by FAITH, not sight or sound or smell or touch or any of the senses. It's time I started to TRUST that HE can handle any and everything. Even when I can't handle anything and feel like I'm falling apart, it's okay! God is stronger and He's got it and He's got me. He's never going to let go!

"I'm Really Gonna Stick With It This Time"

I've tried to start a blog at least 5 times! I always start well but quit when I get "too busy" to keep up with it. I always come up with these "great ideas" but can't ever seem to stick with it long enough to see it come to completion. I've said this every other time I've started but...I'm really gonna stick with it this time! I do love to write and it helps me to feel better. I have a tendecy to be really long-winded and throw in all kinds of extra details that are probably unnecessary, but it makes me feel better. There is just something about writing that is therapeutic. Maybe it's because I have a million thoughts running rampant through my mind. Maybe it's because no one else will listen so if I "write it out" then I feel like someone is listening! Either way, I love to write and it helps me to feel better. Now if only I would just sit down and write more, even when I get "too busy." Lately, I've been writing a lot more probably because I have a little too much time on my hands right now. Soon summer will be over and back to teaching I'll be, but for the next few weeks I'm going to really try and write something everyday. Even if it's nothing "inspirational" or "life-changing" (as if everything else I write is...haha), I really want to do this because well, I want to! And maybe it will get out some of the million thoughts running through my mind. :) Anyways, I'm gonna try again to keep up with this thing, but just remember I am a work in progress! ;)